Rough day/good progress

Had a rough day yesterday with our multiple-issue dog. We’ve been battling a few problems since she was two, and we are at the stage where her meds are beginning to take a toll on her body. Things are threatening to shut down, which means more meds, more trips to the vet, more thought of the end game and when to let her rest and when to keep fighting. She’s a tough little dog, and it’s hard to say  “done” when she gets up the next morning, eager to get to her dog bowl, even if you have to hold her up so she can eat. She’s surprised Tim three times over the last two years, but this was the first time she surprised me. She’s sleeping comfortably at my feet right now, and her lease, if you will, has been extended once more.

All of which might be why my last few manuscripts, the ones you haven’t seen and likely won’t, deal with people overcoming their body saying no when their mind says yes, people being unexpectedly sidelined for things out of their control, their plans jerked out from under them as their bodies betray them–even as they are the ones with the failing skills that can get the job done.

They aren’t fun books, though I think there’s some dark humor in them. There’s no big finish where everything gets accomplished with smiles and tied up with a sparkly bow because the failing is still there. NY publishing is blessedly full of young, aggressive women who are at the top of their game or fighting to get there, and I get that the ugliness of failure is not attractive. At all. So I turned back to the Hollows and its sister series, rEvolution, even as my heart beats to Grace, and Joe, and Peri. There’s a soft strength in these unseen books, the success being in the journey, not the end. Books of strong spirit, I guess I’d call them, because my dog has a strong spirit, and she smiles at me as she rolls in the sun-warmed grass and comes up happy.

“Not done yet,” she says without saying a word, and so I help her continue.


Filed under Drama Box

46 responses to “Rough day/good progress

  1. Kathleen Bingman

    It is a hard thing that is for sure. My Lab Bruce was 12. He was totally fine except he had cancer in his leg. Removed it once but it came back with a vengeance. But I have a video of him on Facebook. On his back with both paws in the air letting his ball roll down his legs and drop in his mouth. Over and over until he dropped it. He has been gone 6 years now. I watch that video once a month and remember the good times

  2. Cat

    It’s tough to watch a dear furred friend decline. We lost our dog last summer and as hard as it was we knew when it was time. I miss her all the time but I feel no guilt for making that choice for her. It was a kindness. I hope you get many more wonderful days with your friend. This quote held great solace for me.

    “We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle; easily and often breached. Unable to accept its awful gaps, we would still live no other way” – Irving Townsend

  3. In case anyone with pets needs this….
    Everyone should know that you don’t have to get your pets prescription filled at your Veterinarian office. Our dogs medicine was $512.97 a month at the vet. After 2 months I called a Walmart in Canada desperately trying to find a cheaper way even if it meant a 8 hour drive to Canada. Walmart in Toronto told me we had the best animal perscription compounding company right in Arizona called 🐕 They literally gave me 3 more years with my dog who had Addison’s Disease. I was able to get 24 pills a day compounded down into 2 pills and it was all Named Brand medicine not generic. The cost $167.19 for a full 3 month supply. I cried on the phone I was so happy. All I had to do was call and set up an account with them with choice of how to pay. Then call my vet and have them Fax the prescription to them. $512.97 generic every month down to $167.19 for a full 3 month supply. My Vet said the markup on drugs for pets runs as high as a 900% markup even when it comes to generic. spread the word. In 5 years I have used them they have expanded their size twice. I give everyone their information.

  4. I like many are truly happy for the Hollows and Racheal to return . I love your other works as well . Racheal came into my life , and probably rescued me in many ways . I was in a battered women’s shelter, and couldn’t read my usual favorite’s. I was having a huge problem with PTSD. I had been beaten , hit in the head 7 times , a gun put to my head and he pulled the trigger , in which he told me if I tried to leave him he would kill my mother and family and then kill me . Racheal such a strong woman , I. Could emerse myself into her world because it wasn’t real . I had never read this type of work before . Those same things that you would like to write about , you truly do. Maybe not as straightforward but women over coming obstacles. You have such a unique style . Well this is why I could never write. My mind since the injuries sometimes goes off track and I find it hard to put things in words. Thank you Kim!

  5. For those of us who can relate to a body that betrays them, we salute you. We aren’t often seen.

  6. Amanda

    Kim, you are a blessing to your furbabies. They will let you know when it is “time”. Enjoy all the time you can with them. It is good to be able to release your feelings into writing, even if no one will ever read what you wrote. Blessings to you and your family.

  7. I hate that they get old. And how quickly it happens, too. Because two of our dogs are adopted/rescues, one is quite old (though he certainly doesn’t look it) and the other young (he DOES look it). Meanwhile, there’s Bonnie who is losing her eyesight and having trouble finding her way to the front door from wherever she hides in the back. She is 11 and I don’t want to look too far forward. She has had problems with her eyes since she was very young and the medication isn’t really doing the job anymore. And there is arthritis. I wonder how long before she can’t handle the six stairs to the door and whether either of us will be strong enough to carry her.

  8. Not done yet…
    still have a ways to go
    before Im upNded.
    – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
    Kold_kadavr_ flatliner

  9. Deanna

    Me and my fiancé face the same battle with our pup. She is over 9 and had, I would like to think, an amazing life. More balls than she can possibly chase, a warm soft bed or three, road trips, lake swims, and so many treats. But everyday I look at her and wonder when and if I will be able to let her go. Heart meds, pain meds, torn miniscus and torn ACL on the same leg, tumors and allergies and still she has a sparkle in her eyes and love of live that I can’t deny. I will keep you and yours in my prayers as we walk this similar road. Best wishes!

  10. Melissa Wood

    As someone who has had their life ripped away by chronic illness, THANK YOU. Thank you for even trying to write a story about people like us! We aren’t pretty, things don’t go nicely, you don’t get perfect little bows, you don’t get happily ever after – chronic illness is just that something that will be with you until you die. I’m super lucky, mine won’t kill me, it just makes life really REALLY hard. I have a bachelors’s degree in civil engineering, and I’ve never used it – never got the chance. Illness doesn’t care if you are smart, or determined or ambitious, it will beat you down, and it’s up to you to find new goals, and new ways to be happy. I’m like your dog now, I find joy in all the little things, because, in the end, they’re what matter — life is what you make of it after all. But really, thank you, thank you for trying. I for one would LOVE to read a story about someone like me. Frankly I’ve been trying to wrap my brain around telling a story about someone like me because well.. that’s my world now, and writing was always my dream. I’m trying hard to believe it’s never too late…

  11. Edward C.

    I know exactly how you are feeling. I had an English setter who lived 19 years. On her last day we went for our walk and that night I sat with her. I must have dosed off because when I opened my eyes she had slowly passed away. The strength of animals is matched only by their love.
    You are a wonderful person and we love all of your characters.

  12. Jen

    Darn onion ninjas. My heart feels for you as you travel this leg of your pup’s journey. Having walked this path, my only words are to trust your heart and make decisions you are at peace with.

    Also, don’t give up on Grace, Joe, and Peri, there is a place for them too. ❤

  13. I understand that very well since I had a dog named Roy who was epileptic and we gave him meds to help with seizures. It was helping him fight it for a while, and each time he had seizures I worried he wouldn’t come out. And he did until one day he never came out of it and had to be put down which was horrible but at least he wasn’t in pain. I know what it’s like though to have a fighting spirit that prevails against all odds.

  14. Jemma

    *hugs* I’m sorry for all you’re dealing with.
    But thank you agan for even writing those unseen books. You and Tim have known me as a fan a long time and know some of my struggles but over the past few years my body has been failing me to and just last year I was diagnosed with M.E. (on top of another chronic illness I have inherited) so I can absolutely relate to wanting to keep fighting and knowing you have skills even if you can’t physically show it.

    It’s actually the reason I’m listening to the Hollows audiobooks atm because despite having re-read my hard copies multiple times over the years my concentration for reading has suffered and it turns out that’s an M.E. symptom. So now I’m listening to them and yet again your books are getting me through things.

    Much love to you guys.

  15. Larisa

    As one of those with failing challenged body I want to read those stories. I keep looking for those heroines. Hoping they can show me ways to be in my own life/story.

  16. Personal pain isn’t easily shared, nor easily forgotten. It’s difficult to put into words how it feels, even for a writer. I get this. 2018 has been a trying year for many, including myself. I had the chance of a lifetime, for a woman of my age, and one small, seemingly insignificant thing, changed it permanently. The only thing a person can do is pick up and keep going, because we know nothing last forever. Time can do wonders for us, if we let it…

  17. As someone who fights every day in the battle of what my heart and mind want versus what my body can deliver, I wholeheartedly understand. And thank you, for even trying to put those battles into literature, as they’re often overlooked.

    It’s a tough decision to make when it comes to our beloved pets. That line is very fine, and can blur easily. Trust your heart; you’ll always make the right decision.

    Thank you for all you do!

  18. Susan Blakeney

    Those questions of time are a heartwrenching battle. I’ve been there to many times and there is never a winner. Only the bittersweet memories of a love that I don’t think as humans we are truly capable of understanding. Some of us are blessed to have that love bestowed upon us. I’m glad she’s not done yet 🙂
    While I’m excited about more Hollows, I’m still hoping for more Peri. There are those of us who appreciate that not all things work out happily ever after in the worlds we choose to read about. Sometimes you have to keep it real, because some of us understand the struggle. Keep writing about the dark, we’ll wait 🙂

  19. Rabid Reader

    Can you self-publish the next Peri, it is an amazing series and I would love to see you finish it. I love unpredictable, away from the norm books that stretch your thinking and pull at your heart. I’m sure if Margaret Attwood was publishing the Handmaiden’s Tail right now, she would be running into the same traditional publishing problems that you are. They don’t seem to like any darkness or failure at present.
    You have to do what you can to survive and make a living but don’t let them squish your creativity or keep you tied to the same route. You are an amazing writer

  20. Deborah Mitchell

    Making the final decision for a beloved pet is always hard.  For me, when they’d rather stay in their bed than do something they’ve always loved is that point. Deb Mitchell Enjoying RetirementQuilting and Gardening

  21. Patricia Wallace

    I know the feeling of loving and compassion for a furbuddy and not giving up. My half lab half German Shepherd cried and screamed in pain for two years with an ear infection that almost drove him mad. He lost his playfulness and just laid in pain while we went from vet to vet and med to med with no help. Was it time to let go? Finally a vet say that his ear was deformed inside. The meds were not getting through. She had the infection cultured and it was MRSA. She packed his ear 4 times and finally found the right antibiotic.
    Within a week he was back to being a playful happy dog . As he was 10 when this happened he is 12 now and living a full and happy life.
    I am so happy we pushed to help him and he has given so much love in return. You are special to give all you can to a friend that gave you so much when he could and still can.

  22. Erika B.

    I think that’s probably why I relate to Peri so much. My grandmother, mother, daughter, son and I have/had a genetic condition called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. We wage a war against things that are out of our control on a daily basis and have learned to manage our pain and our expectations to the best of our abilities. I hope Peri eventually gets her happily ever after in the form of self-acceptance and self-love. We cannot change what we deal with on the daily, but we can change how we view it and manage it. My kids and I will probably never be completely be pain free, but I would like to think that because of our pain we are more kind, compassionate and helpful to those who are also hurting. Hugs and prayers to you and your family as you manage your pup’s issues.

  23. Hey Kim! I am glad you are working on The Hollows again, even if that might not be what you really want. But on that note, are you going to try to release more Perry? Self publish the books maybe?

  24. Carol Cleary

    Have you tried cbd oil yet? You didn’t mention the issues but it has helped my lil dog and my sister’s . Much easier on the liver too.

  25. Kelly

    I LOVE your words..& having fur babies of my own with health/age(potential) issues I can empathize. I ALWAYS question…am I being selfish or is he REALLY telling me he can go on one more day…do we ever really know…or just finally realize it IS selfish & let go.. deal with the pain/loss. I hate not having the answers, good or bad.

  26. Sorry. I didn’t mean to be so depressing.

    I love your books. Peri too. Do what you need to. My best friend Joann loves the audiobooks too.

    We met because of your books, so thank you.

  27. mikilectureaventure

    don’t worry you will know when enough is enough but as long as she want to fight it’s our duty to help and yes they can surprise us again and again .Mine did surprise the vet when he took his 5% chance of survival ( she didn’t tell me at teh time) and stayed with us 5more years

  28. My cat is Maggie. She’s 15 now. Best kitten ever!

    She had Mollie. And 3 other kittens that all died.

  29. I have enjoyed all of your books so hopefully I will get to read these as well one day. I do love a don’t give up spirit, weather it’s pets or people but I do think animals have more of it

  30. You’re amazing, Kim.


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