Those who know me well, know I relish preparing for things. I’m the Queen of Delayed Gratification, which goes nicely with the job I have of working for a year on something, get two weeks on the road sharing it with the world, then back to work on the next thing.
The flip side of the coin is that I also love not having a plan, which gets me in trouble when it comes to attending cons. Don’t get me wrong. I love attending. I just don’t like to plan them because, you know, there will be people there and stuff. I can do it, but my little introverted soul has a hard time planning for it.
So I like to prepare. I like not having a solid plan. And lastly, I love small living within a large space. Having a job that lets me be something else every day of the year has kept me sane. (And they PAY me for it!) But the last few years have taken their toll and something broke, pulling back a curtain I never saw–I had been so intent on the “what’s supposed to happen.”
Which brings me to my current feeling of free flying, in the gap between the two trapeze.
If you’ve been following the blog closely, you will know that Tim and I have recently become RV’ers, first, to follow and see the eclipse, but hey, an RV is basically a land boat, and I fell back into old patterns I hadn’t realize I’d made, remembering skills I never knew I’d learned, and . . . yeah, it fills a need I’d forgotten existed.
There are plans made. Plans within plans that have fingers reaching into every aspect of our lives. We are ready to go. The Captain has gone over the star maps for the best places to alight. The Navigator (that’s me) is content to rely on the vagrant winds to dictate the path and can’t do her job until we are actually on the road. The Doc (that’s me again) has stocked the pharmacy for the one special-needs crew member (the dog.) The Head Chef, (me again) has filled the kitchen shelves, focusing on easy, fast, and limited ingredient dishes, building on know-how gained by past experience. The Entertainment Director (me and Tim) have assembled various audio and visual entertainment. And possibly most important, since this is a working ship after all, the office is prepped, amazing me with how little I need anymore to actually, you know, do my job now that everything is less paper and more electrons.
All we need now is the courage–the final push–and we will be gone, boldly going where everyone has gone before–but never seeing the things I’ll see. Least, not in the same way I see them.
With fingers cramped from decades of “this is the right way” I let go of one trapeze . . . and stretch across space for the next.
Watch this space . . .