‘Twas the week before Christmas, and up in the Hollows. . .

‘Twas the Night of the Solstice
by Kim Harrison

 ‘Twas the week before Christmas, and up in the Hollows,
Solstice bonfires were burning, to toast the marshmallows.

 The pixies were snug in their stump, even Jenks,
Who claimed he was tired, and needed some winks.

 So I in my parka, and Ivy in her boots,
Were toasting the season, with thirty-year hooch.

 When out in the street, there came such a crash,
I thought that it had to be ‘coons in our trash.

 Away to the gate, I trudged through the snow,
While Ivy just said, “If it’s Kist, say hello.”

 I lifted the latch, and peered to the street,
My face went quite cold.  We were in it thigh deep.

 ‘Twas a demon, who stood in the headlamps quite bright,
With his coat of green velvet, and his uncommon height.

 His eyes, how they glittered, his teeth how they gnashed,
His voice, how he bellowed, his tongue, how it lashed.

 The street wasn’t holy, so on Big Al came,
As he bellowed, and shouted, and called me by name.

 “Morgan, you witch.  You’re a pain in my side.
“Get out of your church.  There’s no place to hide!”

 Like hell’s fury unleashed, he strode to my door,
Where he hammered and cursed, like a cheap jilted whore.

 But Ivy and I, we circled round back,
To stand in the street and prepare for attack.

 “You loser,” I shouted.  “I’m waiting for you.”
And the demon, he spun, taking on a red hue.

 Ivy stood ready, and I whispered, “Okay . . .
“If he wants to get rough, I’m ready to play.”

 With nary a word, us two girls got to work,
Putting foot into gut, of the soul-sucking jerk.

 I circled him quick, with a few words of Latin,
While Ivy distracted him with lots of good wackin’

 “Get back!” I yelled out when my trap was complete,
And Ivy somersaulted right over the creep.

 My circle sprang up, entrapping him surely,
Al fussed and he fumed, like a demonic fury.

 The neighbors all cheered, and came out of their houses,
Where they’d watched the whole thing, like little house mouses.

 So Ivy and I, we both bowed real low,
Then banished Big Al, in an overdone show.

 But I heard Al exclaim, ‘ere he poofed from our sight
“You won this time witch, but I’ll get you one night!”

  Kim Harrison
December 14th, 2005

61 Comments

Filed under Drama Box

61 responses to “‘Twas the week before Christmas, and up in the Hollows. . .

  1. Pingback: Sexy Saturday Round-Up | Lady Smut

  2. Marcia Siehr

    Lots of good wackin:) What beautiful prose! Happy holiday season to all.

  3. Mic R

    Thanks for the treat! I hope you and your family have a safe and healthy holiday season!

  4. Reblogged this on Sundae Writers and commented:
    This is one of my favorite UF Series authors. I love the Hollows, Jenks, Ivy, Rachel & Al!

  5. Jeanne Young

    Thank you for this Christmas treat!

  6. Jerry Montag

    Thank you Kim! That was really meaningful if you know and love the characters.

  7. Awesome! Merry Holidays to you and yours Kim!

  8. Rocky Reeves

    I was hoping you would be putting that up for us this year. Thanks.

  9. Jan V

    It never gets old. Thanks for the laugh 🙂

  10. What a wonderful ode to Solstice! Thank you for sharing!

  11. This is awesome, Kim! Happy Yule!

  12. dawn

    Thank you for sharing this little ode,
    is this what happens when you get snow and cold? 😉
    Happy Holidays Kim!

  13. moonbeam080680

    That is great! Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  14. Sue

    Love it. Especially Ivy and the “good whackin'” Hehehehehe

  15. tara

    Awesome,love it

  16. Linda Craft.

    I was thinking about how different that poem would be today. Al would be bringing her cheese sandwiches not threats!

  17. That was great!!!!!!!!!!

  18. Jenny Lee

    So awesome! Just makes me wish that deed pool is being realised early cause im dying to read it.

  19. Thank you Kim! You are the best! Merry Merry!!

  20. So cool! Much better then original. : ) thanks for sharing .

  21. Cat 584

    I thoroughly enjoyed reading the poem again. Such fun! Thanks Kim for all you do for us fans. We truly love your work and appreciate you and all your efforts!! Merry Christmas!!

  22. Perfect. Nothing says Xmas like a demonic ass-kicking! Screw work – bring on the eggnog!!!

  23. Cheryl

    Thank-you, this brightened up my day. Happy Holidays to you!

  24. Rhonda

    That is awesome!!!!

  25. made me laugh i was havin a bad day thank you mrs.harrison

  26. Jess

    I know it is the holidays when I see this posted. It always makes me think of what I’m going to do on the Solstice. Thank you.

  27. Mirannda

    Too perfect

  28. Mags

    Thank you, Kim 🙂 Happy Solstice!

  29. Gail Siuba

    Classic Rachel & Big Al. Love this! Thanks for posting today. It made me laugh (again). 😀

  30. I second going to hit the like button and then I realized I was going to have to write how much I liked it because I was on your blog. I love how it’s all in couplets too.

  31. Vampyre

    OK it’s now officially Christmas time.

  32. Thank you for re-posting. This is the first time I’ve read it. Smiles and chuckles for the rest of the day. 🙂

  33. Nancy H

    I went to hit the “like” button but then realized I was on your page, not Facebook! LOL! Thank you for sharing this again, I really do enjoy it each year!

  34. Tonia Raper

    Loved it!

  35. Khris

    I miss Rachel and jenks, new job does not leave a lot of time for much else

  36. Joella Elbert

    LOVE!!! I so enjoy the Hollows and all things related!! 🙂

  37. Jana

    Bravo, I loved it!

  38. angela captain

    I love it, I want Kisten back……. it is my Christmas wish. 🙂

  39. I have loved this poem since I read it years ago! Thank you for sharing it here. Happiest Holidays to you and yours!

  40. George Major

    Always a pleasure
    and always a plus
    When you take a minute
    during the Holiday crush

    To think of us fans
    and make such a fuss

    to remind us all.
    How you think of us…. so much!

    Thank you
    GeorgeM from Boston

  41. Amy McDonald

    I so loved it!!

  42. Jecika Shirah

    Love love love it 🙂

  43. Alexis

    It’s fun to read and think about how much as changed since that time. And oh, how things have changed!

    Such a fun Christmas read.

    🙂

  44. old72jim

    Hi Ms. Kim I totally love that poem.

  45. Glenda Wolfe

    That was great….. Thank you. I enjoy your books.

  46. LOL Loved it!!! Al is one of my favorite characters! 🙂

  47. Susan Gardner

    That was fantastic!!!! Thank you!

  48. Erika B.

    LOL!! That’s fantastic!

  49. Tonya Mader-Taber

    It was great!!!

  50. Nicole McMillin

    Haha; awesome!

  51. Bianca Dust

    Brilliant! I believe you just made my day perfect. Thanks got sharing, Kim!

  52. Kat Harrington

    I LOVE THIS!!! Even “Grumpy’ laughed at it and said…”That’s pretty cool!” (HIGH Praise from the Grumpy BTW….! (((HUGS)))

  53. Sarah jane Deleon

    Love it! I just really enjoy their adventures!

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